Thursday, August 9, 2012

Madame Gruyère Returns

Yes, she's back

A couple of weeks ago I decided it was about time I went for a check up. I hadn't seen my physician since Jad's birth, mostly because I had gained an unbelievable amount of weight, and I was certain any blood test would come back with haunting results. 

But four months of procrastination were more than enough and so I walked down the street towards my OBGyn's clinic and did those dreadful tests. And indeed, I discovered the expected: cholesterol, triglyceride and fat on my liver. Fun, right? 

I ended up redirected to a Gastroenterologist who ordered an abdomen ultrasound, more blood tests and because I've been suffering from heartburn since my pregnancy with Mia, a gastroscopy and colonoscopy which I did last week. More summer fun, I know. These showed nothing unusual, however, the abdomen ultrasound confirmed the fat on my liver (duh) and, surprise, surprise, stones in my gallbladder (which was not even on my checklist!), apparently numerous (nine of them) and huge. The doctors seemed in awe I wasn't feeling any pain at all. 

So three days ago, I underwent surgery to remove the unwanted creatures that had taken my gallbladder hostage.

I've got to say, I'm very proud all of them are so beautifully shaped and all of the same size. Huge, yes. But still, very in line with my OCD.

In case you're wondering how the cholecystectomy (the surgical removal of the gallbladder in order to remove gallstones) went, it's a fairly simple laparoscopic surgery. The procedure requires small incisions in the belly including one in the umbilicus through which the gallbladder is taken out. The other incisions are used to insert cameras which makes the whole operation quite safe. I was done in about forty minutes. The procedure requires a one night stay at the hospital if all goes well. And of course, the usual laparascopy pains are to be expected: stitches and gas induced shoulder-ache for a few days.

Bottom line, I am now sitting with four holes in my belly, stitches which forbid me to carry my children (or anything above five kilos) for three weeks and an unbelievably strict diet to get rid of my cholesteroltriglyceride and liver fat. You think I'm kidding? Since Monday, I've already lost three kilos. That's one kilo per day. Yes, very effective, I know.

That will teach me to eat like there's no tomorrow, to eat fatty and to eat junky. 

Mamma Mia

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