Thursday, June 9, 2011

Incident in my building prompted some strong views on Facebook

I shared the post below on Facebook earlier today because I was appalled by the incident and we see too many parents relying on housekeepers to take on nannies' responsibilities, thinking anyone can take care of a child. Unfortunately it is not the case and proper awareness must be raised to avoid such unacceptable behaviors: 
People, your housekeeper's not qualified to be your kids' nanny! And even if she were, she's definitely not paid enough! So stop putting them in an educator's position. They most likely will do the job the wrong way.
Just now, I heard screams coming from my building entrance hall. I ran to check what was happening & found out a child crying. Apparently she had gotten into a fight with another kid & to separate them, the "nanny" found nothing better to do than to hit her! She actually hit that child! I am boiling inside! It took a great deal of energy to refrain from kicking the ignorance out of her! But I can't really blame her, now can I?

Other residents at Motor City have been pretty adamant about the whole thing: A stay at home parent is the only acceptable solution.

I personally am a stay at home mom but I completely understand and respect the working parents. Their situation cannot be easy, I am a mother and I would know how hard it would be to be away from my child, and that is why their strength is commendable. Obviously, any parent, mother or father, who could, would spend every minute of every hour with their child. But sometimes life doesn't really care and sacrifices have to be made. Such sacrifices must be respected. 

However, I believe steps can be taken to improve the situation and lessen the risks:

This incident happened earlier today at Dickens Circus 2 | Motor City | Dubai, UAE. There are means to educate children & physical and/or verbal abuses don't fall in that category. It is understandable that parents are busy & after school programs & nurseries are expensive in Dubai. So please, take the time to educate your housekeeper on acceptable "punishment" methods if she is to act as a nanny. 
 (A couple of comments here of parents who stay at home with their children because they do not trust anyone else to take care of their them)

You are both right, I'm certain all parents would agree that children are first priority.

But we should remember that some families need both parents to work so they can sustain a reasonable income. Which by itself is not only OK but truly commendable.

As a mother I know it can't be easy being away from your child all day and it's probably even worse to come back home exhausted at night to see an even more tired child waiting just to spend a few hours with you.
Of course, professional alternatives like nannies, nurseries and after school programs are quite expensive and it is understandable if some families can't afford the extra expense.
In any case, the responsible thing to do is to educate everyone at home about the right approach you want for your child.

It is an excellent advice I read in parenting books when dealing with grand-parents and other relatives who gladly spend time with your little ones.

So why not do the same for all those who live with your child, including the housekeeper?
In any case, once the child is away at school, no parent can protect him/her 100% and mistakes (and sometimes worse) may happen no matter how careful we are.

So to minimize the risks, it is always better to be as prepared as possible and that includes educating those around you on your values, parenting techniques and even their "rights" with your child. For instance, it may be OK for me give my baby a bottle while she's lying down. But I would never allow anyone else to do it, no matter how much experience they have with children.

I'm hoping other parents on the forum, preferably working parents, can weigh in as well. It is important to share all views and maybe use this incident in a constructive way to come up with creative solutions that can help us support each other.

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